It's been a year now...

A lot has changed, I thought I was happier... I am to some extent. It's just tiringg to worry about how much I screwed up... But we are together again. It's so funny how things played out. I have had a lot of things happen through the year but Im glad I have you back

Now that everything is going okay again...

I can't help feeling unloved, not wanted... I mean sure you pretend, but you're still mad. Not even he acts like it anymore... You woud tell me to leave him, but the truth is I can't.... I'm scared of losing him because I love him. You'd say it's bull... I don't know howw much more I can take... one more sleepless night, one more faked smile, make-up covers nearly everything.... Clothes cover the rest.... Everything was going great... So where did it go wrong again? I cry myself to sleep, or don't sleep at all... Plaster on a smile and pretend to be fine. He asks whats wrong... I cant tell him, give him some lie about being tired...

Alrighty then...

Well I got into a fight with my best friend..... again.... Oh well more later

Sometimes

Sometimes you just have to try. Grow wings and just fly. Act like you're unstoppable, act like you don't care. Don't be afraid to take chances or afraid to dare. Don't think you can't do it. Don't stop half way. Get up and go. And tell them someday. Tell them they can think, whatever they want to and, tell them maybe someday they'll matter til then their thoughts don't matter. My mind wanders and I think of him. But he doesn't care and probably never would....

The beginnings...

The dogs are following, catching up. I run faster, faster. My lungs are on fire and I can't breathe. If I slow they will catch me for sure. Tie me up in a cage. Ironically, it would be a dog cage, and there they would poke me with needles, needles filled with chemicals that will change my DNA. Change it into something new.....

So...

This is my first blog post, ever. Let's start with the basics. Getting to know me.I'm paranoid, I don't trust anyone. Don't ask why. I usually care about my grammar but right now I cannot see the keyboard and am too lazy to turn on the lights. I am 5'3" and weight 98 lbs. I will not tell you where I live... I will tell you daily where I am approximately. It will be somewhere different daily. More will come soon.

Love,

Your Darling Jinx

P.S. I love Sarah Beth!!!!!