Now that everything is going okay again...

I can't help feeling unloved, not wanted... I mean sure you pretend, but you're still mad. Not even he acts like it anymore... You woud tell me to leave him, but the truth is I can't.... I'm scared of losing him because I love him. You'd say it's bull... I don't know howw much more I can take... one more sleepless night, one more faked smile, make-up covers nearly everything.... Clothes cover the rest.... Everything was going great... So where did it go wrong again? I cry myself to sleep, or don't sleep at all... Plaster on a smile and pretend to be fine. He asks whats wrong... I cant tell him, give him some lie about being tired...